Maternal Mental Health

Support for women from preconception to postpartum + beyond

Preconception

You may be considering pregnancy. In doing so, some common struggles include problems with communication, indecision, people-pleasing and difficulty with follow-through. This is a good time to explore establishing healthier habits and routines.

Reproductive Journey

The uncertain rollercoaster of fertility challenges can be isolating and lonely as you live life in two-week intervals and are unable to make plans. This is often coupled with relationship and intimacy struggles and can prompt feelings of shame, guilt, anger, fear, sadness and/or envy. Part of this journey can include grief related to loss.

Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a wonderfully complicated process that involves monumental physical and emotional challenges. Many women struggle with fears about their baby, labor/delivery, motherhood, and other upcoming changes. Some women develop mood and anxiety problems during pregnancy.

Postpartum Period

The first year after birth is difficult. There’s the constant attendance to another person, monotonous repetition and routine, missing your old life, conflict with partner/family, unexpected emotions including rage, difficulty coping with the overwhelm of information/decisions, agonizing about missteps, boredom, stress around baby’s eating/sleep/milestones/safety, unattainable expectations, mood swings, pretending to be okay or even happy when going through the motions. Part of recovery at this time might include processing birth trauma. Some women develop postpartum mood and anxiety issues.

Parenthood

Parenting is a demanding marathon that is both physically and emotionally exhausting. You’re working so hard on this long game with no clear guidebook under the highest stakes imaginable… and there is no “finished product” at the end of the day and no gold stars. You’re doing the most important work of creating the next generation of people in a system that doesn’t see or value caretaking. This is all in the context of unattainable standards, burnout, relationship challenges, not feeling fulfilled, shouldering too much, resenting partner and/or children, reprocessing your own childhood and breaking generational patterns.

wheat and flowers by the rocky beach

It’s hard to be a mom.

Motherhood is an incredibly intense, vulnerable journey that can be both life-affirming and soul sucking. Aspects of it are universal, yet many women feel alone, misunderstood and resentful. From trying to conceive to pregnancy to parenting, much distress comes with being unable to control everything as well as enduring the invisible burden of the mental load and emotional labor.

Matrescence is the normal developmental passage where a woman transitions through preconception, pregnancy/birth/surrogacy/adoption, to the postnatal period and beyond. It varies in length, recurs with each child and can last a lifetime. The scope of changes encompass multiple domains — bio-psycho-social-political-spiritual. This can be likened to the developmental push of adolescence but is not as known or understood, consequently people expect and assume too much about mothers during matrescence.

It’s nearly impossible to imagine being a mom and how you will respond until you’re in it. Figuring out how to cope well and adjust is important for your relationships with yourself, your partner, your children and family as a whole.

Mothering the mother.

Whether you have an existing psychiatric disorder, develop one associated with pregnancy/postpartum, or just know it’s not sustainable to struggle this much, you aren’t alone. Relief is possible. You can be grateful and suffering. You can be okay and need help. Motherhood does not require martyrdom.

Pregnancy and parenthood can rip you apart and break you down like nothing else. However, it is also an opportunity for growth, for looking inward, for healing and for realigning priorities. In therapy we can explore how to develop the ability to cope better, practice acceptance, and be more present and connected. And your whole family ultimately benefits as well.

The path to feeling inspired, understood, supported and balanced includes connecting with community, self-exploration, acceptance, nurturing growth, finding meaning and engaging with effective strategies and practical tools.